Lose weight while homeless

If you're living in a home you can find things online to achieve quick weight loss easily. If you're experiencing homelessness, things are easier.

1. While standing in long food lines outside service providers, flap your arms like a chicken. Don't worry, they won't put you in a mental ward because they can't afford such. If you're lucky you might be identified as medicaid billable and can fake being a drug addict, garnering three meals and a cot if you play your cards right.

2. Pass the potatoes. Pass the grits too. In fact, after a week of service providers unable to consistently schedule 'volunteer' agencies to serve meals as scheduled, you won't want to eat as much. Guaranteed weight loss program!

3. Get on food stamps, subsisting only on such. The given rate in Florida is about $100.00. That's an average of a bit over $3.00 a day. Enough for an apple, pint of milk, and a few pastries from the local grocer...IF you don't forget your EBT card in your backpack that gets stolen left at the front door while shopping.

4. Dumpsters are a no-no. The most recommended site that's 'homeless friendly' has been found to be La Jerry's, located next to the eye doctor a block south of the library on Laura Street. Don't worry, non-disclosure statements aren't necessary for your picture to be used to promote yourself. No ask, no tell is the policy there.

If you've got any tips, feel free to send them.